There is an unspoken “Goliath” in the room. Sometimes he is quiet, sometimes he taunts us, and sometimes he attacks. No matter which stage of our “Goliath” relationship we are in we always know he is there in the corner of the small room of our mind and at moments notice he can move in for the “kill”. Here is the truth, none of us like to be controlled, belittled, and beat up by this unseen foe and most of us deal with him on a daily, weekly, monthly or yearly basis. He is not talked about in our churches much. He is not talked about enough in our families and because of this he is free to control, abuse, rape, and pillage our minds freely.
Why is it such a hard issue to talk about? It is a sensitive, taboo, unpleasant, and unsafe. People do not like to be reminded of such a paramount issue in their lives, and as a result, because we do not address it there are many in our world who think that having a “Goliath” in the room is not necessarily a bad thing.
You may have, before you read this last paragraph, thought that I might be speaking of depression, loneliness, or possibly battling some insecurity but I propose that, on a foundational level, many of these are just symptoms of a bigger issue. Let me explain.
As I write this the Coronavirus has spread to over 32 countries. Entire cities, airports, and countries are being locked down in order to keep the virus from spreading. Predictions are being asserted that 40-70% of the world will have the bug in their system at some point. That is a huge problem. Thousands of people have already died increasing fear in many of us and yet every single day of our lives we are dealing with something more destructive. Because the process is such a hidden and gradual one there are no symptoms of this disease. The only difference is that the death that it brings isn’t physical and it is working invisibly to rot humanity out from the inside.
I am speaking of the sexualization of our culture…more specifically pornography and objectification. It is something that is not spoken of, or if it is it is spoken of as a “badge of honor” in some boys’ locker room or men’s workplace. The results are staggering as to how many people are consuming sex online. 98% of men and 70% of women have admitted to watching porn in the last six months. 80% of men and 27% of women have admitted to viewing porn in the past week.
- When they talk about porn with friends, 89% of teens, and 95% of young adults say they do so in a neutral, accepting, or encouraging way.
- Only 1 in 20 young adults and 1 in 10 teens say their friends think viewing pornography is a bad thing.
- Teens & young adults view “not recycling” as more immoral than viewing porn.
- Not recycling “usually or always wrong” = 56%
- Viewing pornography “usually or always wrong” = 32%
- Most pastors (57%) and youth pastors (64%) admit they have struggled with porn, either currently or in the past.
- Overall, 21% of youth pastors and 14% of pastors admit they currently struggle with using porn.
- About 12% of youth pastors and 5% of pastors say they are addicted to porn
- 87% of pastors who use porn feel a great sense of shame about it.
- 55% of pastors who use porn say they live in constant fear of being discovered.
- The vast majority of faith leaders who struggle with porn say this has significantly affected their ministry in a negative manner. It is not clear why, but youth pastors are twice as likely as pastors to report this kind of unfavorable impact. (link)
- 93% of pastors and 94% of youth pastors say pornography is a much bigger or somewhat bigger problem in the church than it was in the past.
- 12% of online sites are pornographic (24,644,172 sites)
- Of total porn users 1 in 3 are of the female gender.
- The United States is the #1 purchaser of sex world wide.
- Porn sites receive more regular traffic than Netflix, Amazon, and Twitter combined each month.
- At least 30 percent of all data transferred across the Internet is porn.
- Pornography use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300%.
- Porn is a $97 billion-dollar industry worldwide – $15 billion-dollar industry in the US. – bigger than the NFL, the NBA and Major League Baseball combined.
- 54% of pastors admitted to viewing Internet porn in the last year and 30% admitted viewing within the past month.
***All that is written above does not begin to take into account the monetary cost of porn. A question that could be asked: Where else could money that is spent on pornography go? Churches, schools, kids,…FAMILY
If we take a serious look at this pandemic we will begin to see how it affects everything that we understand about a stable society.
- Pornography is never enough
- We are teaching men (women too) that they do not have to be satisfied by their spouses.
- Family brings stability, structure, love, and support NOT only to the family but also to the community, county, state, country, and ultimately the world.
- As we focus on fulfilling our selfish desires over protecting family and want what we do not have at the expense of those who are closest we cause fractures in every part of our lives.
- Objectification of women – Selfishness>>>the desire for more>>>Pornography
- Leads to abuse
- Sexually
- Verbally
- Physically
- Unengaged men and absent fathers
- Lack of trust in marriage
- Affair
- Divorce
- Everyone in the family is hurt
- Depression, loneliness, or possibly battling some insecurity and in some case suicides
- Children – Can continue the cycle
- Everyone in the family is hurt
- Divorce
- Affair
- Lack of trust in marriage
- Leads to abuse
Even youtube (and sites like it) are becoming unsafe as more channels are providing sensualized content/“clickbait” and knowingly pushing boundaries in order to profit.
Ultimately we can point fingers all day at the providers of this sensual and unnecessary garbage but that does not get us out of our responsibility to our own families and society to walk away from videos and links that we know are going to be laced with trash. You are called to more than that. You are worth more than that. You are a protector…NOT a perpetrator and abuser.
The truth here is the lack of value. We do not understand how precious each person’s humanity is nor do we see the value of ourselves and because we do not see the value we abuse it. We cannot see people on the street, at the pool, on the TV, videos, etc, as a human being, as a daughter, as a son, as a masterpiece of God. We cannot respect this truth because we do not value the divine spark in the others (and ultimately in ourselves).
Contrary to popular opinion, we are not as cool as we think we are…there are 7 billion of us running around. I think that that is part of the problem. We have somehow been brainwashed through modern media/culture and through our own selfish desires to think that we are somehow more important than the rest of humanity…that somehow our “needs” are more important than other people’s well being.
We all lie to ourselves when we view pornography telling ourselves that we are experiencing an intimate moment alone with someone but the reality is that an intimate moment being shared with thousands of others is not intimate.
What we don’t see happening is the slow murder of empathy. It has become so normal that we do not see the person on the other side of the screen as a person like us with desires, aspirations, and likes and dislikes because we do not see them their dreams are being destroyed. We are to blame.
Care. Equip. Share. 